Hi. Do you know funny jokes about gambling? Post them here.  

Some jokes:  


Rodney Dangerfield joined Gamblers Anonymous.
They gave him three-to-one he wouldn't make it.


The best bet for a player to make is what is called a "Mind Bet" You stand behind the game watch the action and attempt to predict the winner. You never bet any real money you only bet in your mind. Last week a friend of mine lost his mind three times.


A young sexy blonde went to Las Vegas. She had been in the casino for about an hour, and realized she was thirsty. So she went to the pop machine in the hall. She put $1.00 in an a Pepsi came out, she put another $1.00 in and another Pepsi came out, she put one last $1.00 in and another Pepsi came out.

A man saw her, and he said: "What are you doing?" And the sexy blonde said:

"Duh!! Winning!!!"

"Duh!! Winning!!!" LOL

A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, "Martha, pack up your things. I just won the California lottery!" Martha replies, "Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?" The man responds, "I don't care. Just so long as you're out of the house by noon!"

Little Tommy was the quietest boy in school. He never answered any questions but his homework was always quite excellent. If any one said anything to him he would simply nod, or shake his head. The staff thought he was shy and decided to do something to give him confidence.

"Tommy," said his teacher. "I've just bet Miss Smith $5 I can get you to say three words. You can have half."

Tommy looked at her pityingly and said, "You lose."

Paying the Rent

"That rotten husband of mine wanted me to sleep with the landlord because he lost the rent money playing casino," the housewife told a neighbor.
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"You didn't do it, did you?"
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"I have to admit I did -- though with certain misgivings, I might add. What I haven't done, though, is tell my husband the rent is now paid up for six months!"  



Last edited by davidg5 on Wed Apr 25, 2007 1:54 pm; edited 2 times in total

Did you hear about the new 3 million dollar State Lottery? The winner gets 3 dollars a year for a million years.  

Two bored casino dealers are waiting at a craps table. A very attractive redhead comes in and wants to bet twenty-thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice. She says, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm bottomless." With that she strips naked from the waist down, and rolls the dice while yelling, "Momma needs a new pair of pants!" She then begins jumping up and down and hugging each of the dealers. "YES! I WIN! I WIN!" With that she picks up her money and clothes and quickly leaves. The dealers just stare at each other dumbfounded. Finally one of them asks, "What did she roll anyway?" The other answers, "I thought YOU were watching her dice!"